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Berkahwin bukanlah perkara main-main, dan meski cinta itu penting dalam sebuah hubungan, ada hal lain yang menentukan bertahannya hubungan anda dan pasangan. Wanita single, jangan sampai melakukan 7 kesalahan mendasar dalam memilih suami berikut ini, ya!
1. Mempunyai Perbezaan Prinsip
Anda boleh membuat keputusan lebih mudah pelbagai perkara dengan panduan prinsip hidup anda. Ini soal apa saja yang masih boleh dilakukan atau apa yang melampaui batas, cara pandang anda, juga hal-hal penting yang anda yakini. Kompromi dan mencari jalan tengah memang sudah pasti ada dan diperlukan dalam setiap hubungan, tetapi jika anda dan pasangan sudah mempunyai perbezaan besar dalam hal mendasar ini, bukan tidak mungkin perkahwinan ini justru akan berakhir pada bencana.
2. Berharap Akan Berubah
Ini perkara yang paling sering saya dengar dari teman-teman perempuan: berharap sang kekasih akan mengubah ini-itu yang tidak selari dengan mereka. Nyatanya, sama seperti orang dewasa lain di dunia ini, seseorang tak akan berubah jika orang tersebut memang tak mau berubah. Tak terlalu masalah jika hal yang anda harapkan akan berubah dari pasangan bukan perkara asas. Tapi jika perkara tersebut adalah perkara penting dan tidak boleh anda terima, sebaiknya fikirkan kembali masak-masak untuk menjadikannya pasangan hidup. Salah-salah, anda boleh dianggap manipulatif kerana berupaya mengubah dirinya.
3. Menikahi Lelaki Penuntut
Ini kebalikan dari mata sebelumnya. Sementara anda terima-terima sahaja kekurangan pasangan, lelaki jenis ini justru yang memaksakan berbagai hal-hal yang sesuai versinya kepada anda. Akibatnya ia pun kerap menuntut ini-itu dan berusaha mengubah diri anda.
4. Memilih Lelaki yang Tak Memikirkan Masa Depan
Ada banyak lelaki menarik yang membuat setiap detik-detik tarikh anda begitu bergelora. Tapi, semenarik apa-apa dan betapa membanggakannya menggandeng lelaki semacam ini, kehidupan anda berdua di masa depan akan berantakan jika ia tak punya pekerjaan atau passion akan suatu hal, dan rancangan masa depan. Sebaiknya mantapkan hati anda untuk mengetepikan segera lelaki semacam ini.
5. Cinta Buta
Sudah tahu bahawa pasangan anda mempunyai perbezaan prinsip, anda masih berkeras untuk mengikat janji sehidup semati bersamanya. Belum lagi jika isu yang berlaku adalah masalah kekerasan. Ini namanya awal dari bencana. Perhatikan tanda-tanda bahaya dalam hubungan anda dan segeralah keluar dari sana sebelum semua terlambat.
6. Berkahwin Kerana Wang
Oke, banyak perkara di dunia ini yang boleh didapati dengan wang, tapi tentu wang bukanlah segala-galanya. Berkahwin dengan lelaki kaya raya namun abusive, misalnya, tentu bukan keputusan yang tepat. Atau jika ia tak punya life skill yang cukup tangguh untuk menguruskan kekayaannya. Apalagi jika pada akhirnya perkahwinan ini malah mengongkong anda. Ingat, meski diperbuat daripada emas, belenggu yang menghadkan tak akan ada bezanya dengan berbagai keterbatasan lain yang mengikat kemerdekaan anda.
7. Berkahwin Kerana Tuntutan
Ya, ya, ya saya faham soal tuntutan untuk berkahwin dari konsortium keluarga anda, juga dari lingkaran persahabatan anda. Selain itu, jika setiap orang memang mempunyai alasannya masing-masing untuk berkahwin, berkahwin kerana tuntutan ini bukanlah alasan yang tepat. Setiap orang punya 'pembabakan'-nya masing-masing, dan jika anda berasa tidak mencari lelaki yang betul atau justru belum ingin berkahwin dengan kekasih, ya, di sanalah babak kehidupan anda pada masa ini. Jadi, lain kali jangan tiba-tiba ingin pengsan ketika ditanya 'bila nak kahwin ?.' Jawab saja anda sedang mencari tarikh cantiknya, "20.20.2020, mungkin?"
1. Mempunyai Perbezaan Prinsip
Anda boleh membuat keputusan lebih mudah pelbagai perkara dengan panduan prinsip hidup anda. Ini soal apa saja yang masih boleh dilakukan atau apa yang melampaui batas, cara pandang anda, juga hal-hal penting yang anda yakini. Kompromi dan mencari jalan tengah memang sudah pasti ada dan diperlukan dalam setiap hubungan, tetapi jika anda dan pasangan sudah mempunyai perbezaan besar dalam hal mendasar ini, bukan tidak mungkin perkahwinan ini justru akan berakhir pada bencana.
2. Berharap Akan Berubah
Ini perkara yang paling sering saya dengar dari teman-teman perempuan: berharap sang kekasih akan mengubah ini-itu yang tidak selari dengan mereka. Nyatanya, sama seperti orang dewasa lain di dunia ini, seseorang tak akan berubah jika orang tersebut memang tak mau berubah. Tak terlalu masalah jika hal yang anda harapkan akan berubah dari pasangan bukan perkara asas. Tapi jika perkara tersebut adalah perkara penting dan tidak boleh anda terima, sebaiknya fikirkan kembali masak-masak untuk menjadikannya pasangan hidup. Salah-salah, anda boleh dianggap manipulatif kerana berupaya mengubah dirinya.
3. Menikahi Lelaki Penuntut
Ini kebalikan dari mata sebelumnya. Sementara anda terima-terima sahaja kekurangan pasangan, lelaki jenis ini justru yang memaksakan berbagai hal-hal yang sesuai versinya kepada anda. Akibatnya ia pun kerap menuntut ini-itu dan berusaha mengubah diri anda.
4. Memilih Lelaki yang Tak Memikirkan Masa Depan
Ada banyak lelaki menarik yang membuat setiap detik-detik tarikh anda begitu bergelora. Tapi, semenarik apa-apa dan betapa membanggakannya menggandeng lelaki semacam ini, kehidupan anda berdua di masa depan akan berantakan jika ia tak punya pekerjaan atau passion akan suatu hal, dan rancangan masa depan. Sebaiknya mantapkan hati anda untuk mengetepikan segera lelaki semacam ini.
5. Cinta Buta
Sudah tahu bahawa pasangan anda mempunyai perbezaan prinsip, anda masih berkeras untuk mengikat janji sehidup semati bersamanya. Belum lagi jika isu yang berlaku adalah masalah kekerasan. Ini namanya awal dari bencana. Perhatikan tanda-tanda bahaya dalam hubungan anda dan segeralah keluar dari sana sebelum semua terlambat.
6. Berkahwin Kerana Wang
Oke, banyak perkara di dunia ini yang boleh didapati dengan wang, tapi tentu wang bukanlah segala-galanya. Berkahwin dengan lelaki kaya raya namun abusive, misalnya, tentu bukan keputusan yang tepat. Atau jika ia tak punya life skill yang cukup tangguh untuk menguruskan kekayaannya. Apalagi jika pada akhirnya perkahwinan ini malah mengongkong anda. Ingat, meski diperbuat daripada emas, belenggu yang menghadkan tak akan ada bezanya dengan berbagai keterbatasan lain yang mengikat kemerdekaan anda.
7. Berkahwin Kerana Tuntutan
Ya, ya, ya saya faham soal tuntutan untuk berkahwin dari konsortium keluarga anda, juga dari lingkaran persahabatan anda. Selain itu, jika setiap orang memang mempunyai alasannya masing-masing untuk berkahwin, berkahwin kerana tuntutan ini bukanlah alasan yang tepat. Setiap orang punya 'pembabakan'-nya masing-masing, dan jika anda berasa tidak mencari lelaki yang betul atau justru belum ingin berkahwin dengan kekasih, ya, di sanalah babak kehidupan anda pada masa ini. Jadi, lain kali jangan tiba-tiba ingin pengsan ketika ditanya 'bila nak kahwin ?.' Jawab saja anda sedang mencari tarikh cantiknya, "20.20.2020, mungkin?"
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